Let's Have Some Fun

[kashibhatta]

In continuation of what sreyasi wrote....

In Honour of Stupid People . . .
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.......

1. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

2. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

3. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

4. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

5. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

6. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

7. On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)

8. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)

9. On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)

10. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..taking this because???....)

11. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)

12. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)

14. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(don't blame the company. blame the parents for this one.)

[aloke]

21. Tries to use his credit card in a road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of being health
conscious.

19. Sprays deo so that he doesn't need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
Says "Yogurt" instead of "Curd".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says "Free Way" instead of "Highway".
Says "Got to go" instead of "Have to go".

16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every
time he steps out of his house.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (not in kilometers), and counts in
Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars.

13. Tries to see the percentage of fat on the cover of a milk packet.

12. When needs to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee"
several times, if the other person unable to understand, then he says X, Y
Zee.

11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY,
says "Oh! British Style!"

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8. Avoids eating more chilli and oil.

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Coke.

6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing
it for the first time.

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".

4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.

3. He doesn’t remove the airway stickers from his luggage
which he used when he travelled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll
the bag on Indian Roads.

1. Tries to begin the conversation by saying...
"In US ...." or "When I was in US..."

[sreyaghose]

ekdam sathik parJabexaN .
aar ei mane praaNe " myaarikaan " haye JaayoTaa bodhahay prabaase thaakaar samayer sange byastaanupaatik .

e jaatiyo byaktider dbaaraa bahul byabahRit aarekaTi shabda bandha hal ,
" toder ekhaane " aar " aamaader okhaane " .

enaaraa aabaar US Dollar-ke Taakaa bale thaaken .
desher bandhu , aatmeeyader janye saabaan , shampoo aanen upahaar hisebe . aamaar ek aatmeeyaa aamaake eman ki baasan maajar jaali parJanta " upahaar " diyechhen . aar esab samaye taa`nder mukhe ekaTaa besh sbargeeya dyuti phuTe oThe .

du / tin maas bideshe kaaTiye ese e`nder aabaar "desher garame " bheeshhaN kashhTa hay !

e`nraa rumaaler badale tissue paper diye chokher jal mochhen .
mashaa kaamarhaale atyanta aakul haye boroline-er kho`nj karen .

" ghareo nahe ghaaTeo nahe " - enaaraa aachhen maajhakhaane !

sreya .

[kashibhatta]

bah bah, kee bhaalo, kee bhaalo...!
myaa, myaa, aammo aamerikaa jaamu...phire ese amon kammo kammu...
tks, aloke and sreya, emon chaabuk aaro chaai.


jaak ge, etaa jaa, myarica-teo hoy, baanglaar ghare ghare-o hoy, pore dekhun bondhuraa....

[size="3"]Before marriage :[/SIZE]

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Yes!

She: Will you hit me?

He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

He: Yes.

[size="3"]Now after marriage you can read it from bottom to top !!!![/SIZE]

[Shopnildigonto]

haha
hehe
hohohoho
huhuhu
hihi
khek khek
muhahahaha
heh heh heh
ihihi
aynar shamne dariye amon kore dekhen kemon lage.

[sreyashi]

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
************ ********* ********* ****
Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

************ ********* ********* ****
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
************ ********* ********* ****
Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my
dictionary.
Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...!
************ ********* ********* ****
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removing a
wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for
two wheelers only'
************ ********* ********* ****
Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye....

[sreyashi]

Here is the reason. Why Newton Committed Suicide.....


Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.

Here are a few scenes


1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!


2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.


3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... the gangster dies...

[kashibhatta]

Sreyashi, baro bhaalo...
onupraanito hoye....

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Boy, what is your problem?"
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had, had enough. She took Boy to the principal's office. While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy: "9".
Principal! : "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the third-grade. "
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?"
The principal and Boy, both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy:, after a moment "Legs."
Ms Nee lam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy: "Pockets."
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy: Shake hands

Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy: Fire truck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it u have to use ur hand.
Boy: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?
Boy: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send this Boy to IIM Ahmedabad, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"



nb: ke kee bhaablen, nijo daayitwe, please!!